Share Barnacles Be Buggered!

July 26th, 2010 | 0 comments »

Had a dive down to the doctors this morning to get a check on some moley type things that have been appearing on my bod.

“Nothing to worry about.” I’m told. “Just a few seborrheic keratosis.”

Sebby what osis?

“Blistering barnacles!” as Cptn Haddock would say. Seems it’s something you get after you turn 50. They are known as ‘senile warts’ or the ‘barnacles of old age’. NO F * * * * ER TOLD ME THAT IN SCHOOL BIOLOGY!

Never mind… just a few years ‘til a bus pass / pension credits and being even more grumpy.

Share More Updates

July 25th, 2010 | 0 comments »

Following on from The Famous Five update… Jane Austin.

Share Nobby, Dick And Fanny

July 24th, 2010 | 0 comments »

I see that publisher Hodder is to update the Enid Blyton Famous Five series to bring it into the 21st century.

So no more ‘jolly japes’, eh? According to The Guardian: ‘Starting next month with 10 Famous Five novels, Hodder is “sensitively and carefully” revising Blyton’s text after research with children and parents showed that the author’s old-fashioned language and dated expressions were preventing young readers from enjoying the stories. The narrative of the novels will remain the same, but expressions such as “mercy me!” have been changed to “oh no!”, “fellow” to “old man” and “it’s all very peculiar” to “it’s all very strange”.’

The character Nobby from Five Go Off in a Caravan is to be changed to Ned but they are not to do anything about Dick and Fanny. As Zoe Williams comments in her Gruniad blog: ‘Dick? In 2010? Do they have no idea how entendre-savvy today’s five-year-old is?’

How gay it will all be.

Share Spain v Holland

July 10th, 2010 | 0 comments »

From Angel Boligan, El Universal newspaper, Mexico City. One of the best cartoons I have seen in a long while.

Share Gazza And...

July 10th, 2010 | 1 comments »

Don’t know what Gazza thought he was doing turning up at the Raoul Moat siege in Rothbury but from one of the pix in this mornings news it looked to me like Michael Caine and Prince William had turned up in uniform…