Share Anthill Inside

September 28th, 2009 |

I quite like some of the writings of one Terry Pratchett and the way that he takes the ‘p’ out of institutions and companies in a humorous way.

So it is that in one of his Discworld books - I forget which one - he had academics at the Unseen Uni invent Hex; a form of computer.

Just like other computers it was branded with “Anthill Inside” (a take on Intel Inside). And so fiction becomes reality.

Researchers at Wake Forest University, North Carolina, US, are developing anti-virus software that takes on the properties of an ant colony: “The digital ants will wander through computer networks looking for invaders. When an ant detects one, it calls for an army of reinforcements to join the fight.” Full story here.

Share Indians!

September 12th, 2009 |

Whilst writing for the next book (working title: Men In Blacks) I found that I needed an excuse for my main protagonist, Rob Crowther, to get in with the Victorians at the theatre. I know, I thought, I’ll make him from America - explains the 21st century clothing - and he can be… a scout for a possible show… Buffalo Bills Wild West that appeared in 1887 at Earl’s Court. Perhaps it could come to Newcastle.

Looks on interwebthingy for ref to Bill Turns out that after a season in London the show traveled to Birmingham and then to Salford.

Not only did the ‘native Americans’ pitch their tepees in Salford but when the show left some of them stayed on. “Charging Thunder changed his name to the rather less distinctive George Edward Williams and disappeared into anonymity within north-west England…”

Now I bet that would make a good book.

Share That's Entertainment

September 6th, 2009 |

Spotted on Google News…

Share Drop It

September 4th, 2009 |

Weve all seen it somewhere. Roadsigns, newspapers and the ubiquitous grocers window signs. Of what do I speak? The apostrophe. It has been dropped.

Ill not mention the gent in Tunbridge Wells, Stefan Gatward, whos decided to stand up for this simple punctuation mark that shows possession or a missing letter but I will mention Birmingham and Prestons decision by their Councils to drop the thing on their roadsigns.

Its bad enough that kids are leaving school unable to read properly but now the powers that be are removing a simple mark that will confuse even the older generation.

It wont it make a difference to the way we understand our language, some say: “Hell go to hell because he doesnt understand that its St Jamess Park.” (try reading this out loud without placing the apostrophies).

Next? The comma? As John Humphries over at the BBC commented he blames the texting generation.

John Wells, Emeritus Professor of Phonetics at University College London wants us to adopt “freed up” spelling; he proposes turning “give” into “giv”, “river” into “rivver” and embracing Americanisms.

I tell you: theyre/their/there will be no stopping this.

Share You've Been Bongo'd!

September 3rd, 2009 |

Now that’s a relief! Phew!

Here’s me thinking that a magician had performed the ultimate trick… coming back from the dead.

I overheard a conversation today whereby the subject was Ali Bongo, well known magician of stage, screen and Magic Circle, and how he had won an election in Gabon. Then I though… hang on, he died in March. Good trick.

Nope. Wrong Ali Bongo. This one is Ali Ben Bongo who has taken over from his father, Omar, who brought stability during nearly 42 years of rule but faced accusations he used petrodollars to enrich family and friends. Now here’s a surprise… they reckon the election was rigged - or maybe it was just magic?

Share Got A Spare Watt?

September 1st, 2009 |

If you have a spare room in your house then it is probably: a) a junk room; b) there for when in/outlaws appear; c) what you call ‘the office’. I’m thinking of turning mine into an eco-store of sorts. Meaning that I shall start to stock it with candles - not the paraffin wax kind as they are bad for your health - and smokeless or permitted fuel for my open fire in the front room. All this in preparation for 2017 when ‘The “energy unserved” level reaches 3000 megawatt hours per year. That is the equivalent of the whole of the Nottingham area being without electricity for a day.’

Mind you I, like several others, are already doing our bit to conserve power. I have installed the free bulbs that make the room darker when you switch them on, turned down the washing machine to 30 degrees and the central heating has not been on since Easter (I keep a pile of thick jumpers beside the switch just in case I’m tempted). Boris Johnson is turning off traffic lights.

Meanwhile I see that Defra are to, possibly, set up the ‘Lightbulb Police’ because of pressure from Brussels.

So get set for 2017 being a return to 1974 - power rationed with scheduled blackouts; a return to paraffin lamps and wood fires; cartons of dripping with string in the middle as a makeshift candle; a three day week; wearing your coat in the house and lining the living room with tin foil.

Or you could just stop charging up/playing with your iPod, mobile phone, Wii, flatscreen TV, having the fridge on ‘ice-age’ setting and turn things off instead of leaving them on stand-by.

You have been warned, so don’t come crying to me when you haven’t got a kWh.