Share Noises Off

October 24th, 2008 |

When I worked at a certain theatre in Newcastle it was quite usual - as it is in many venues throughout the world - for us to start to load out the show starting at 11pm on a Saturday night. On the obverse it is also quite common to load in a show starting at 8 or 9 on a Sunday morning.

For a number of years this was not a problem because the loading dock backed onto a lane and a warehouse opposite which was empty at these times. But times change and the building was converted into flats and apartments.

Effort was made by the stage and lighting crew to minimise the noise at these times and the usual banter was toned down. What couldn’t happen was to stop noise from flight cases and ‘meat rack’ lighting cages being trundled from truck to dock across loading ramps or tarmac. This lead to several altercations with residents opening windows and subjecting the crew to verbal abuse - and on occasion eggs and a flower pot being thrown at them.

Our case was a justified one we thought: We were here first - since 1867 - and surely the lawyer search should have mentioned the fact that the property you were about to buy backed onto an area which at times could be noisy. The inevitable sign went up on the inside of the dock about “respecting the neighbours”.

Over the years the location v neighbour battle has continued to the extent that church bells were silenced and cricket practice banned for fear of offending the delicate souls who had moved near something that wasn’t as quiet as a church mouse.

Finally this problem has been resolved. Mr Justice Forbes has said that incomers who know about the potential disturbance before they move in have few grounds for challenging the nuisance. - as reported in todays Telegraph. What a sensible man.

Share PANTO Shopping

October 16th, 2008 |

I got the delivery of pre-pub books this morning via carrier and they’re looking good.

We changed the cover - the 2 ‘P’s mystery - and then ordered on Monday so a three day turnaround… LSI are definitely the bogs dollocks… and this batch seem to have much more ink depth than the proof (black is black / red is red).

Off I go to the interwebthingy to check out the availability and to see if the cover image has been picked up on yet. Amazon: available, no cover pic; Foyles: available & pic; Blackwells: available & pic; Pickabook: available & pic but they have the audacity to be charging a two quid ‘finders fee’ - OY! It’s POD!

Other sites throughout the webisphere, from the US through Europe to Japan, also have the tome at local prices… pre-order now for your theatre loving aunt/uncle/brother etc.

As Billy Mitchell says: ‘A good read, I like theatre type stories, and this one had me right there in the stalls feeling the chill of the ghosties, and dare I say, the thrill of the ghoulies… it is panto after all.’ He should know… he’s in Cinderella this year as an ‘ugly’.

Now comes the PR job…

Share PODling

October 13th, 2008 |

A common colloquialism for baby taking its first walk is for it to “poddle” so I guess that one could describe my adventure into the world of print on demand as PODling.

The first tentative steps were taken over three years ago when I used the US based services of Lulu to produce a novella entitled ‘Albert and the Golden Quaver’. A 96 page tome set in “Blueland” and featuring my anthropomorphic character Albert and lots of references to blues music.

The overall feel and look of the finished article was as good as anything available at your local bookshop and so I was bitten by the POD bug whereby two more novellas followed.

My next step was to take these three stories and turn them into a single 240pp volume and so I investigated prices. Horror! The Lulu product would have made ‘The Albert Tales’ ridiculously expensive (At todays manufacturing price: £5.62 + ISBN costs + fulfillment) and with shipping from the US totally exhorbitant - I looked elsewhere.

Scouring the internet-web-thingy for similar POD producers I found that here too the prices were, to me, excessivly high and the majority were based in the States. Surely there must be such a facility in the UK? … more trawling of the web.

Several hours later and clicky-clicky I discovered Cornwall based Diggory Press. Their site somewhat haphazard I eventually found that I could produce my novel for (retail) £7.99 and that would give me about a quid in royalties per sale (no fast buck here…).

With the set up costs, ISBN assignment, proof copy and legal deposit copies to the National Libraries all-in-all it cost about £90. Result.

August 2006 saw me produce ‘Albert The Third’ the exact same way and also enter it into the Blooker Prize where it was shortlisted for the Fiction Prize.

My writing continued and I now toddled along quite nicely producing another Albert book, full length story this time, dusted off a theatre based tale that I had part written during the 1990s which was re-worked and published as ‘Operation Brutus’ under the name of Stiofan McAtinney (don’t ask - long story) in June of 2007 and in March of this year published the second full length Albert; ‘Skriveners’.

It was about this time that suspicions were raised that my legs were about to give way.

Flying about the net were rumours that Diggory were in trouble. Several authors were unhappy about the way they thought they had been treated and were banding together to take the owners to court.

I bided my time.

When I was ready to delve back into POD I emailed Diggory. Nada. Nothing. Zip. I emailed Diggory for two months. Same unresponsiveness.

Sitting down with several friends over a pint or two of Guinness I told them of my concerns that I would not have a book out for Christmas. It was they who suggested we go down the route of becoming an indie publisher and so I was back to first steps.

First port of call was to Nielsons to acquire an ISBN… They only sell them in a minimum batch and so we purchased ten under the auspices of Alberts Press (expect nine more books - Ed). Next we set up an account with Lightning Source and downloaded all their PDF help files which we trawled through.

poddles

I’m happy to say that the processes of uploading and step-by-step walkthroughs at LSI is a relatively simple process and you also have the back up of a named Client Services Co-ordinator. Also in their favour is that they use a hands-on approach and with us making an initial mistake we were soon back on track.

All in all I believe that we are again poddling along quite nicely - our first book order was placed today - but like any youngster we have to learn to walk before we can run and our first steps with PANTO have not been that horrific.

So…

The next two books are underway - one an Albert the other a theatre tome and we’ve been asked if we will help a couple of other authors produce their work - we shall see.

poddles back to keyboard

Share Proof Of Panto

October 9th, 2008 |

Friends, Roamings and Countrymen… j’arrive - or rather it has.

What do I speak of? The proof copy of ‘PANTO’ of course.

It has been a nervous few weeks compounded by the fact that when I uploaded the files to LSI the list that tells them what kind of book it is (hardback, softback, etc) seemed to tell them that it was a case bound edition (publishing speak for a hardback).

Several e-mails back and forth between a very helpful LSI person in Tennessee, USA (Thank you Lindsey!) and it was all sorted. The carrier dropped it through the letterbox at 2:45 this afternoon.

Onward and upward… to infinity and beyond… etc.

Then I spot a problem (DOH!) - apprehensive has 2 ps in it - back cover blurb.

Back on to LSI UK and sort out how to rectify this… 5 mins later… sorted (Thanks Julie!).

So… PANTO will be with you shortly (Nov 4th) if you have pre-ordered it and the PR and launch will go ahead as planned.

Hurrah!

Share bASH

October 7th, 2008 |

<rant> They’re at it again. The Smoking Nazis at ASH are trying to implement a no smoking in cars policy.

“Children and young people are also regularly exposed to second-hand smoke in cars where levels of toxins can get extremely high, even when windows are opened.” it said.

If I was sitting in a car with the windows open I think I would be more concerned about the pollutants coming from petrol and diesel than my aunt Fanny having a quick drag in the front seat.

Smoking now allegedly costs Britain’s NHS 2.7 billion pounds however each year smokers pay over 9 billion pounds in tobacco taxation, a figure that dwarfs the alleged cost of smoking to the NHS.

Meanwhile in Leicestershire the local council are ‘doing some research’ that will stop people from smoking outside pubs because of the ‘litter problem’.

Next time you go to get that ingrowing toe nail fixed just think of the populi that are paying for it.

Pricks.

</rant>

Share Gone To Press

October 2nd, 2008 |

Yup! As of today PANTO has been sent to the printer.

I should get back a proof within a week or so… and orft we jolly well go :)

Next thing is the publicity and so that machine will roll into being for the official launch on November 4th - a secret location known only to those … in the know.

Now… how the h*ll do you use a video camera so I can do viral things on UTube?