Pump Rooms

August 29th, 2008 |

Several of the local hostelries that I frequent for the imbibance of alcoholic beverages have, over recent times, stopped putting out beer mats on their tables and counters.

So it was that at one time the overspill from your pint would be consumed by that 3 1/2 inch square to stop the slops ending up down your tie or shirt front - now you have to ask your purveyor for a mat or seek out a pile in a darkened corner.

Strange? Shortage of cardboard? (could it be the Elfen Safety police?)

Anyway, I was out the other night to find a plethora of heart shaped beermats spread liberally around an inn of some repute that on the face of it told me that “…245 best friends die every day…” eh? I don’t know about you but I don’t have 245 best friends? 2… 4… possibly 5? I turn the thing over to discover that its a blurb from the British Heart Foundation: “I don’t want it to be you. They die because not enough of us know the various symptoms of a heart attack or what to do when they occur.” Probably very true.

Then… then it urges to visit their web site “… and experience what it’s like to have a heart attack.” Experience what it’s like! Call me a wuss but no ta very much. As my companion noted: “If you go there then the monitor you’re using will probably leap off the desk straight into your chest.”

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