ROSKO'd

July 4th, 2009 | 0 comments »

I see that Alberts Press author Phil P Mitchell is doing well at Amazon with constant sales and now an offer by them.

If you don’t know about Rosko then get y’self over and check him out. Described as ‘…a quirky crime caper which fairly zips along, with contributions from a hard-done by hamster and a cunning cat to add to the wacky factor.’ by the Northern Echo last month and his first novel Beyond The Volcanoes - in the top 100 of the music section for the past month reaching the dizzy heights of number 20 at one point - was described by The Crack magazine as ‘A wonderful, wry read’.

And if you’ve not met Phil you can read all about him here from a feature in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle.

Local News

July 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments »

Doing what I normally do on a Friday and hunt through the weekly newspapers, for snippets of anything that I might find of use at a later date, I came across a story with a somewhat unusual headline.

All was revealed when I looked at the news in brief section.

Obviously a way to get kids to read papers as: The theme for 2009 is fantasy and young readers taking part, between the age of four and 11, will become quest seekers as they read their way through the summer and enjoy incentives to help complete their mission.

The Hexham Courant

Form A Line...

July 2nd, 2009 | 0 comments »

Some time ago I wrote a fictional piece - Pssst!…wanna buy some tobacco? - about the way that the nanny state will want us to be in the future. Well folks, guess what, the future is here.

I came across an article in the reasononline website which is a roundup of the way that local authorities are ruining the local pub.

*Preston Council: banned ‘vertical drinking’ - (that’s standing up to you and me).

*Yeovil, Somerset: customers are fingerprinted and photographed at the pub door.

*Staffordshire: a pub hurriedly axed its 25-year-old dominoes team when police discovered that it lacked a license for sporting activity. Then just to add insult to injury nobody would be allowed to watch the dominoes, since this “would constitute a live sporting event” and require a further license. link

*Oldham, Lancashire: pub customers must stand in an orderly post-office-style line. It must be a straight line, starting one metre from the bar, with barriers, signage, and a supervisor.

The full article is here

On other pub news the smoking ban will be up for review next year and I see by a Morning Advertiser article that momentum is gaining to let landlords decide - which is what they should have done in the first place - whether they want smoking in pubs or not. Several MPs have signed up.

Lost In Translation?

June 29th, 2009 | 0 comments »

I see that Russian gas supplier Gazprom have teamed up in Africa with Nigerian supplier NNPC* and have made somewhat of a faux pas with the corporate branding.

If you want gas? Ask for Nigaz - Pimp my cooker: gas with attitude?

• Not Necessarily Politically Correct?

I Told You I Was Ill

June 27th, 2009 | 0 comments »

AAARG!

Three fikkin days of it. So a guy who’s done nothing for twenty years pegs it. So what? Why give over hours and hours of TV time to the bloke. He sang songs and sold vinyl and did a “moonwalk”. It’s not like he solved world poverty. We didn’t have all this outpouring when Spike Milligan died and at least he made me laugh.

I change channels on the TV and what do we get? Bloody Wimbledon!

AAARG!

Viva España?

June 25th, 2009 | 0 comments »

‘Spain: Paradise Lost’ was on the UKs ITV 1 channel last night for the second part and I was really amazed at the attitude of some of the Brits that have decided to up sticks and move there.

In what I would describe as a British Ghetto - albeit an affluent one - several of the ex-pats admitted that they couldn’t speak a phrase of Spanish apart from the odd word - “hola” (hello) and “buenos dias” (good day). Their reasoning behind this was that they were in a British community and there was no need. My flabber was well ghasted.

A couple from Oxford recently became the proud owners of a British bar in Benidorm and wondered why they had no punters. It was bleedin’ obvious! They had no experience of bar work and they were catering to a minority. Sheesh!

I’ve been to Spain a good few times over the last 30 years and I must say that I have been warmly welcomed every time by the locals. One of the reasons, I believe, is that I at least attempted to speak the lingo from the outset - there was a slightly embarrassing moment when I ordered a glass of spider juice instead of orange juice (araña / naranja) but apart from that I can do a good shop and generally get my point over whilst on holiday or extended stay. But to move there and not learn?

One of my reasons for watching this was as research for my next book ‘Playas’ which is set in one of the Costas near to Alicante. Not being able to afford a trip out there I have had to resort to online research and believe me there’s loads out there. Everything from using Google maps to local newspapers to ex-pat forum and Wikipedia to Flikr.

Well… back to the keyboard to plot gunfights, helicopter night landings and a big black bull.

Fathers

June 21st, 2009 | 0 comments »

I see the D.Teleg has a 20 famous fathers listing especially for today. Top of the list is one Homer… hmm… Doh!

However there are good and bad fathers on the list and at number five is “Pa” - as portrayed in the Jonny Cash song ‘A Boy Named Sue’ which has one of my all-time favorite lyrics “And we crashed through the wall and into the street; Kickin and a gougin in the mud and the blood and the beer.” Teleg opinion: Pop Idol: He may have walked out when his son was just three, but he did leave the lad a guitar and a great story.

Under the Bad Dad title: (Morally, spiritually and physically a festering flyblown heap of accumulated filth, says his son.) comes one Albert Edward Ladysmith Steptoe at number ten. I’ve never had a bath in the sink but this dad has.

Happy Father’s Day.

Anarchy In The UKe

June 12th, 2009 | 0 comments »

If you think of George Formby and cleaning windows when someone says “ukulele” then think again.

I came across a piece in the D.Teleg this morning about the UOGB - Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - and that they are playing the BBC Proms. They are also trying to get together as many uke players as they can for a mass Ukulele rendition of Beethoven’s ‘Ode to Joy’.

There is any amount of stuff on U-Toob from the ‘pluckers’ and a tongue in cheek version of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ went down well a few years ago.

I was reminded of the north easts very own uke band the ‘Allstars’ and their front man one Mister George Welch, spinster of the parish. Long time since I saw George and his somewhat off the wall humour. Any one who has seen him will remember not to buy tomatoes in pubs and that he may occasionally sit, like The Move, ‘watching flowers in the rain to feel his allotment grow’ (you had to have been there, sorry). Anyways.. here’s George’s outlook on Chickin Licken.

Full And Fair Ones; Come And Buy

May 30th, 2009 |

You can get it at corner shops in Greece, Spain, Italy, France and the gods know where else. Can you get it at major supermarkets in the UK? Naah… no call for it; have you tried the (grin) strawberry - I am told (blech!).

What do I speak of? Cherry juice. Marvelous first thing in the morning as a wake up and somehow it invigorates more than the usual slug of orange.

Things may be about to change thanks to scientists findings, presented at the American College of Sports Medicine Conference in Seattle, of the red stuff.

It may become the new ‘sports drink’.

I don’t do sports… I just like the taste and wait with anticipation to find it in my local shop.

Who Dunnit And Other Mysteries

May 29th, 2009 |

Where can you buy ROSKO?

What exactly is an interrobang?

Progress - Hurrah!

May 28th, 2009 |

Here we are near the end of the week and I am 5,000 words further on for the next novel - “playas” - than I was on Monday. At this rate - with another 25,000 words to go - I should hit my deadline of August for the edit, rewrites and addendum. Hurrah!

ROSKO - published by us as Alberts Press - is doing okay at Amazon and I note that the author, Phil P Mitchell, not only has a blurb in one of today’s free press newspapers but that his first book “Beyond The Volcanoes” was sitting at number 42 in their “Soul & Gospel” chart earlier this week. Hurrah!

People ask me about the theatre series of books that I write and some of the jargon used. I point them here for all things theatre techie and occasionally use it myself as the old grey cells are, I believe, starting to fail. Not Hurrah.

Well… onward and upward and now I need to get one of my characters out of a Spanish oubliette with the help of “fantasmas del mar” and a rather large truck.

Vote?

May 22nd, 2009 |

I live in a part of the country where we have a mayoral election. The money for this area is a total general net revenue budget of £168.8million and the mayor has a hand in how this is spent.

The usual Election Address Book popped through my letterbox the other day and was preceded by the usual spam of electioneering leaflets. These go straight to the bin after a quick scan of the “Lies, damned lies and statistics”.

But hold! I note the Tory says car owners hand over £42 million in car tax and why is it that the Labour mayor can’t spend some of this on road improvements? Doh! How up to date are these people? Out of the £42m that goes into the general tax pot only six percent comes back to fund roads.

The Labour bloke - the one who seems to use the local rag as his personal diary - same old party line… The Lib Dems are putting up their councilor of 22 years… The National Front bloke is banging the same old drum… yawn… as are the BNP … yawn.

We have a Green candidate standing this year; says some nice stuff; decent enough policies … trouble is he’s nailed - yes, nailed - one of his election boards to a tree. Says it all really.

returns to apathy

122AD And Onwards

May 20th, 2009 |

Newcastle upon Tyne is well known as a party city but this time last year it was described here as the “gloomiest city in Britain” after a survey by cake manufacturer Mr Kipling.

A year on and yes we know there’s not a lot to be happy about in this time of recession and “snouts in troughs” but one thing on the horizon sheds a glimmer of light into the gloom. A new Library - the old one being demolished a couple of years ago - local blogger Les Bessant has a timeline of pix on his site.

It was 122AD when the Romans established Pons Aelius (a fort and bridge) on the banks of the Tyne and things have moved on a bit since then with Newcastle council spending £40.2m as part of a private finance initiative (PFI) project to build what will be the third such library in the city not only with the usual rows of books but also with ‘The Newcastle Collection’ which is a varied range of books, illustrations and artifacts which the Library has acquired over the years, providing us with a continuous link between the past and the future.

The new Library opens next month and I, for one, shall be paying a visit.

Dear Chas,

May 18th, 2009 |

You may not remember but some 20 years ago you bought me a pint and we had a brief chat.

From there the world has gone a bit loopy. You may have been admonished over talking to plants and for carbuncles but please take no notice.

What I would urge you to do is have a word with your mum.

How about this? She dissolves parliament and takes over running the country… then has second thoughts and steps down leaving you in charge? Of course you then have second thoughts and put Harry in charge but with you in the background. This would take up about two years during which time people would forget all about the snouts in the trough and be fully prepared to go out and vote for a newly constituted government.

Just a thought… y’know y’ want to… y’will; y’will; y’will… or Harry.

Slim.

ROSKO

May 10th, 2009 |

The latest offering from Alberts Press, ROSKO by Phil P Mitchell is now up and running at Amazon.

Described as a “quirky crime novel” which is set in and around the north east environs of Newcastle the synopsis is thus: When the terrified wife of his ex-boss Clive Thompson comes to Harry Rosko for help, he’s got a dilemma. His private investigation business might not ever put him on the Top Ten Rich List, but it paid the bills. Well, most of the time.

So, what to do, carry on with the ‘maritals’, hanging around in car parks taking sordid photos? Or take a stand against Thompson and his cronies? Make that Chief Inspector Thompson.

See, Harry was once a young copper working his way up the ladder, but when he came into conflict with Thompson, he found himself sliding down one long snake and straight out of the Force.

Now, Rosko has a chance to redress the balance, to restore Justice and protect those in need. And to get his own back in the process, of course.

But can he succeed with the odds so stacked against him? Well, he does have the lovely Lisa, his smart and loyal assistant. Then there’s Jeff, his man on the inside. And there’s always Dave and Eugene, but they weren’t exactly human.

Can’t fail really then, eh..?

240pp :: RRP: £7.99 :: ISBN 978-0956048431